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Old, but still fits!


Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington, D.C.
One is from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.

They all go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some
figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900:

$400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then

says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew

and $100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to

the White House official and whispers, "$2,700.00."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other

guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you,

and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how it all works !!!!
 

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Blond Irish Wife,
On a bitterly cold winter morning an Irish husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through”. So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through”. The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park….” Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?”
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time”?
I didn’t see it coming either!
 
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